Monday, September 19, 2005

HOME AGAIN HOME AGAIN



At about 7:50pm, Sept. 16, 2005, Michayla set foot on American soil and immediately let loose an enormous smelly poo. We hope it wasn’t a political statement. Our dear, dear (there aren’t enough dears) friend Michelle picked us up at LAX, immediately fell in love with Michayla, and whisked us back home. We quickly ran to the faucet and brushed our teeth with tap water. Huzzah!

SOFT AS A BABY'S BOTTOM



She seems pretty happy with her new Diaper Changing Station.

CHINA PARTY GIRL



Michayla has settled in to her new digs quite well, although she’s still on “China Party Girl” time. Here she lets loose at an all-night Hop ‘n Bop Rave.

WHERE'S THE MYRRH?



A mountain of gifts awaits the arrival of the Empress.

A GRANDE CHAI LATTE WITH NON-FAT MILK, PLEASE



Marty gets in one last Starbucks fix before the 15 hour flight home.

OH THANK HEAVEN


FAREWELL LUNCHEON







We shared this most important event in our lives (uniting with Michayla, not the luncheon) with some truly wonderful people, who we are honored to call our friends. (Note the rare photo of the mysterious and legendary Mr. Chin).

MONKEY BRAINS



We told Marty we were having Monkey Brains for lunch. He didn't think it was funny.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

WE'RE COMING HOME!

It's Friday afternoon on this side of the world. We have a farewell lunch at 1:00. We're going to run across the street to get our free Starbucks drink (They gave us a coupon because we bought a mug), and get a shot of the McDonald's, Pizza Hut, 7-11 corner.

At 4:00 we head to the airport. Our flight leaves Guangzhou at 9:00pm Friday night and we arrive at LAX at 6:50pm Friday night. Yes, we arrive before we leave.

Our flight info is: China Southern, Flight 327, Guangzhou to Los Angeles, arrive at Terminal 5.

We can't wait to get home to see everyone, eat salads, fresh fruit, and brush our teeth with tap water.

THE VIEW



Here's the view from our hotel room. It pretty much typifies China. The old and the new seeking balance, grasshopper.

A DRUNKEN BACCHANAL



Thursday night we had a huge farewell party, a drunken bacchanal with crying babies. Here Michayla shows off her party-wear: traditional Chinese pants and a baby shirt that says "Baby" in Chinese. Available at www.scootieville.com!

THE INFAMOUS CHINA TEAM



Michelle and Sarah are on the right. They're the best and we couldn't have done this without them! Mark is wearing a shirt that says "Daddy" in Chinese. Also available at www.scootieville.com! Collect 'em all. Trade 'em with your friends!

CHINA DOLL



Okay, we think we have it figured out. Michelle is going to dress up in a traditional Chinese dress and we're going to try and pass her off as a very large doll.

Here she is in a dress rehearsal.

CHINA HOOTCH



Mark doing a shot of Chinese Moonshine with Sarah and Michelle. The taste can only be compared to anti-freeze.

WHAT KIND OF CHEESE IS THAT?



Thursday afternoon Michayla put on her fancy dress and hair bow, and our three tour buses hauled our American butts (And one Canadian butt) over to the U.S. Consulate, where Michayla officially became an American. (What kind of cheese is that? American cheese!) We all had to raise our right hands and swear a bunch of stuff was true. Nicki cried. A bunch of mothers cried. Mark threw Michayla in the air like a Naval Cadet at graduation.

THE SUN NEVER SETS ON THE COLONEL



Wednesday night our group went for a cruise on the Pearl River. The scenery was lovely. The food was awful. Inedible, one might say. It was so bad we waited until we got back to the hotel and then had the American Special at Pizza Hut: Pepperoni, baby!

Thursday morning we did a little shopping. Mark bought a new suit and a tie for $50.00. It was a finger lickin’ good deal.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

GIRL POWER



She may be a Chinese citizen and too young to vote, but Michayla knows who she wants in the White House next election.

ON THE SILK ROAD




We went to a huge silk market today and had a silk blanket made for Michayla. It cost us all of $21.00 and it was ready in an hour.

These Chinese may be on to something with this silk thing.

SILK ROAD II





We think she likes it.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

SLEEPING IN WITH DAD



Mark and Michayla fast asleep in the morning.

YELLOW POLKA DOT BIKINI



Tuesday was official document day. After breakfast, Nicki spent more than two hours in a conference room, filling out all the official documents. Mark and Michayla spent the whole morning sleeping. Okay, Michayla slept, Mark wished he was sleeping.

Then in the afternoon, Mark went up to the 25th floor to review all of the documents with the China Team and then meet with Norman, who triple checked everything.

After we passed with flying colors (those of you who know Nicki know how well organized she was) we went for Michayla’s first swim. Michayla splashed and splashed and splashed.

SPICY HUNAN CHICK




We all dried off and took a cab out to Shamain Island for some more shopping and dinner. At one shop, Michayla was laughing and smiling and the three Chinese saleswomen were laughing at how Michayla’s eyes sort of close up in narrow slits when she laughs. Chinese women making fun of Chinese eyes!? Hello, Kettle.

On our way back to the hotel, Michayla found her second wind. Back in the room she babbled and laughed for at least 45 minutes. Smiling and laughing, laughing and smiling. It cracked us up.

Then to top it all off, after we put her to bed and she was fast asleep, Michayla started laughing in her sleep.

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD

MICHELLE



Mark is still trying to find a way to get Michelle to come home with us.

BUDDAH BUDDAH BUDDAH!




Sunday was jam-packed with activities. In the morning, our entire group went to a Buddhist Temple of Serenity for a blessing. Our caravan of plush, air-conditioned tour buses snaked through narrow, over crowded streets. The Temple is a favorite place for adoption groups, so of course it’s a favorite place for beggars straight out of Central Casting. Sunday’s group of beggars was especially exotic. They seriously looked like they came right out of a Chinese Horror/Slasher film. It was a very odd feeling being bustled by them: The Haves and the Have-Nots.

The weather was oppressively humid, but the blessing was lovely. Lots of chanting and gonging.

STARBUCKS!



We then stopped by yet another government run arts and crafts store, where we bought a couple of outfits for the Wee Empress and lots of gifts.

Then after lunch the three of us went shopping across the street at the Friendship Store, a fancy-schmancy Bloomingdale’s like store for westerners. We bought the Empress a few outfits.

Then it was off to Michayla’s first trip to Starbucks! She loved it. She had a couple of sips of Green Tea Frappicino and a couple of bites of a pastry.

Back at the hotel, it was time for Michayla’s first play date. Our good friends Ellen and John Lawler brought over their gorgeous little girl, Jemma. Michayla and Jemma had a grand time together, which is good since they’re going to be seeing a lot of each other back in LA.

PIZZA AND A MASSAGE, ANYONE?



That evening our group had a pizza party and Miss Michayla partied the night away. Well, at least until 8:00.

Nicki put Michayla to sleep and Mark went off with our friends Arnold, Lawrence, and the mysterious Mr. Chin for foot massages. It’s become a nightly outing for the boys and they’ve become regulars at the massage parlor (not what you’re thinking) down the street.

DOCTOR DOCTOR GIVE ME THE NEWS



Monday we all went out to Shamian Island so the babies could get their travel clearance medical tests. Shamian Island reminded us a lot of Savannah, Georgia, with an extra dose of humidity. The clinic was teeming with crying babies and anxious parents.

Monday, September 12, 2005

OUR BRAVE EMPRESS



We found out that Michayla has an ear infection. The doctor stuck a long, narrow q-tip into Michayla’s ear and pulled out a swab full of green puss. This procedure happened about 5 times. Michayla didn’t cry or fuss. We were so proud of her. Mom and dad, however, were a different story. The doctor was talking to us in Chinese, so Mark ran off to get someone from the China Team to translate. They prescribed some medication and suggested we go to a doctor once we’re home. Luckily, Nicki had thought ahead and we already have a doctor’s appointment for Tuesday.

To alleviate her anxiety, Nicki does her best Marty Feldman impersonation.

AND IN THIS CORNER...



Michayla weighed in at 68.5 centimeters and 15 pounds. Tall and thin. Featherweight division.

Hmm?



To celebrate Michayla’s ordeal, she had her first ice cream at lunch.

Mmm!



As you can see, she really hated it.

MONKEY SEE...

PANDAMONIUM



The Guangzhou Zoo's Panda, Sad-Sad.

NICKI AND MICHAYLA AT THE ZOO



Panda Shmanda, where's that ice cream?

THE MYSTERIOUS MR. CHIN

AND NOW THE FATHER OF THE BRIDE WILL DANCE WITH HIS DAUGHTER



Dinner at the hotel, where we were entertained by the Off-Key Three.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

SOMEONE TO WATCH OVER ME



Marty doing his best "Nana" impression.

BOX SEATS


Marty and Michayla watching the Yanks trounce the hated Red Sox.

LEARNING THE BRONX CHEER FROM DADDY



This morning we woke up, had breakfast and then raced upstairs to watch the Yankees/Red Sox game on ESPN. There’s nothing like watching a fabled rivalry with Chinese commentary. Michayla continues to be mesmerized by the old boob tube. We like to believe she just likes ESPN.

THE HALL OF LUGGAGE



Waiting for the luggage to be picked up.

AT THE CHANGSHA AIRPORT



Then it was off to the airport, where we got to flash Michayla’s new passport. On the flight, Michayla was a model of perfection. Not a single cry from her. We timed her feedings to coincide with take-off and landing but she was an aeronautical pro.

MICHAYLA'S PASSPORT


When China takes over the U.S., we've got an ace up our sleeve.

PLEASE PLACE THE MASK OVER YOUR MOUTH FIRST...